Saturday, November 12, 2016

Just Tired

Sometimes I revisit the blog, mainly to look up a recipe that I have posted here.  It always makes me a little sad because I had so much more time to tend to my home.  Granted, the boys were smaller and Charlie was not in school, but those were sweet days.  And I probably didn't realize it most of the time.

For the past 2 years I have been working part time doing office work.  Initially, it was a limited number of hours and it has stretched into about 18 a week.  That translates to 3 days a week from the time I drop off Charlie to the time I pick him up.  And I am exhausted.  Still doing etsy as much as I can.  We self insure and our premiums have increased to such an extent that they exceed our mortgage.  In fact, in 2017 our premiums will be 39% of our take home pay.  Feeling like we are drowning in the burden of it.

My heart wants to be home, doing the mundane things like: laundry, meal planning, cooking and making the house beautiful.  Perhaps it doesn't seem like an admirable aspiration to some, but it is simply how my heart is wired.  I love being a wife and mom and homemaker.  I love it.

Hopefully people give me grace when me home is messy, because it feels like it has been an endless "messy season".

Through it all, God is good.  He gives us clear signs of His providence and love.  Despite all the weariness and anxiety, we are living in a home of love and riches that transcend anything money can buy.  E and I are praying for wisdom and clarity on how to best manage our time, finances and family.  He has been driving uber and it has been an excellent means of extra income.  We are thankful, but I miss him.

Will try to post more stuff, mostly recipes!  I know no one reads this, but if you do, thank you for "listening".  If you are a homemaker, your work is precious and my heart finally understands this more than ever.